What exactly is being done here....

This is a picture of an eye with a radiation plaque attatched to it. Below is a picture of a radiation plaque before it is inserted in the eye. The doctor puts into consideration the size of the tumor and then the depth of the tumor and that all determines the amount of iodine radioactive "seeds" on the plaque.

The holes on the edges of the plaque are used to stitch the plaque in place. For more - and probably better info - on this whole procedure go to The Cleveland Clinic's Web site on the Radioactive plaque.

Right now, we are in our hospital room. We got here around 12ish and Brenden has been getting noticably better. He came up here with a fever of 99.9 and it broke after a dose of Motrin. He then ate one italian ice, 2 dishes of ice cream, some teddy grahms, salad, cherry tomatoes, a few pieces of chicken, a bowl of fruit, half a bowl of peaches and a can of sierra mist. Now he's sleeping. Tomorrow, hopefully he'll feel a little bit better and be more up to atleast playing the wii and a few games. As for me...i"m gonna get to bed. Tomorrow i'll post pictures of Sesame Street Live.

We've checked into our hotel....

Let me tell you a little about it by telling you what Peyton and Landon said when they saw it:

"It's got 2 potties!!!!" (I didnt have the heart to tell them that one wasn't exactly a potty, however, Pap showed them that they both weren't).
"Wook at the shower!!!!" Marble walls, glass doors and gold trim.
"It's sooooo big!!!!" (Yeah it's huge!)
"Two Beds!!!"

...and one very tired and woosy Brenden.


His hospital room is in what used to be the V.I.P wing of the hopsital where there were famous people according to the staff. He's taking it easy for now and resting so later, prolly after I get a rest and he's sleeping tonight, i'll post some more...even some from Sesame Street Live.....

He'll have to keep this in for 2 days so on wednesday morning they'll take it out and we'll head home. I cant wait and neither can Brenden.

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers...they're greatly appreciated.

I'm sick of these lemons, hand me something else!

Cleveland...go in expecting the worst and hoping for the best. That's exactly what we did today. Today was the twins bi-annual eye exam for Retinoblastoma, the cancer that they have which as been under control for almost 2 years now. They haven't found anything for 2 years: until today. We went in and things went as normal. Landon came out, everything was fine. Brenden came out and Dr. Singh had not so good news. For two years I had heard "everything looks good, see you in 6 months!" Today I heard: "Well, I found a tumor. It's on scar tissue from an old tumor and it's pancaked. It's spread out and too large for us to treat with laser therapy and cryotherapy." ::Insert awkward pause here:: "Okay...." "So, we're going to have to schedule to insert the radiation plaque in his eye. It's an aggressive cancer remember (yea, I remember, we've got twins with it and I have it....how could i forget) so I'd like to schedule it for Monday through Wednesday. He'll have it in for 48 hours and we'll see how it is after that. You remember all of this? From when Landon had it done 2 times right?" "Okay....uhm..."


I really have no clue what to say. It's all come on so fast. I guess that's what I get for telling my work that we've been fine for two years concerning this. I know that we cant get upset over this. I've gotta stay strong for my kiddos...God help me keep a almost 4 year old content in a room where we aren't aloud out of because we're radioactive - for 3 days.

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies"

Valentines Day 2010....a little bit late.

So I know Valentines day has come and gone however, our pictures from it have yet to be posted. The boys had the Friday before valentines day off for whatever reason from school. This meant that we had a free morning to do whatever before they had to go to their dads house for the weekend. I decided that since we're sooooooo into firetrucks, firemen and dalmations, that I would take them to build a bear and get the new and limited time dalmation. I know we don't need another stuffed animal but they're totally into dalmations and all the other stuff. So off we went. So Rick went with us to corral kids in the mall...coulda had ten more people helping out becasue those kids were wild. Mommy got the crazy idea to just take one stroller in for three kids. A single stroller mind you. They all fought over who got to push it. Didnt exactly work.

Brenden was cheesin with his new fireman dalmation dog. LOL, He named it "Igotta Firedog"...very specific.

Landon and his new police man dalmation. He named his "Hydra" from one of their Sesame Street books about firefighters.

Peyton being goofy with his puppy. He wasnt too fond of staying still long enough to name or get a birth certificate for his puppy unless he could type in on the screen himself. Needless to say, didnt exactly work out. His was gererically named "Valentine Dog". Cute huh.

Can you tell they love each other? On occasion? LOL, well regardless they had a blast. I actually took my camera to the store to get pictures of them doing it. I even made sure that I had a new battery in it. However, absent minded as I've been recently forgot and left my memory card at home...in my computer. Wont do much good there will it. So, you'll have to settle for these pictures.

All eyes on us....

All eyes on.....us? Alot about the eyes to talk about this time...Peyton, well, he's been playing with Mr. Potato heads glasses. As you can see. He's keepin his mommy on her toes - that's for sure!!!


...and eating boxes? Ha the things we do to occupy these kids lol.
...aaaaaaaaaaand....we've had tons. of. snow. and we're supposed to get more. snow. ugh. I'm tired of it. I know I live in ohio, deal with it and quit complaining..

But i'm sick of it...i'm sick of 12 inches of snow at a time. This is crazy.

Finally, It's a little late to be reporting this but better late than never! On Monday of this week, we went to Cleveland with Landon. I'll start off by saying "i'm glad that it's OVER." We woke up early and headed up. We had to be there at 9 or 9:30 and we got there at 9:15....after leaving at 7. It took us two hours to get there!!! Traffic, Traffic, Traffic!!! Landon had no clue really what was going on on the way up there... once we got there, he started asking but was still okay. He was set on talking to and flirting with the nurses. (Notice in the picture above how his eye turns in? That's what was being fixed...)
He knew that eventually he'd be getting a "breathing treatment" which is when they put him to sleep. After a little bit of a wait and some happy juice, he was finally taken back. He did so good. He was saying "mommy, that mecinin made me feel funny...." and "I tant sit up, it's hard to!" When we got back to the OR, he layed on the table for them and told them all about his pictures in his photo album and then they asked him if he could count to 10. He said "Yeah!" and started to....only making it to 7.

After about an hour and a half, Dr. Traboulsi came out and told us that he was out of the OR but not awake yet. He said that there was alot of scar tissue from where the muscles had been cut prior for his surgery at 3 months old for the plaque. The muscle had apprently attatched it self to the eye and he said it was a little harder than he had expected to do because of that. However, he did it and although Landons vision wont ever be perfect out of that eye, hopefully it wont turn back in a

After a rocky wake up time in recovery, we headed home. Later that night, he was feeling back to himself.
Brenden on bottom, Landon behind him.

Brenden laughing.
Brenden again.Landon was tired....really tired...and his eye was still sore but day by day it's getting better. It looks so much straighter now. I'm so proud of him, he seems to be doing better now...not hurting so much. Below...one of my more recent favorite pics.

Special.....

* I recieved this along with Peytons "Heart Book" in the Nicu. His heart book had a list of his medications and medical terms that we were able to refer to when the doctors used that doctor talk during "rounds". It also set Peyton apart from the other NICU babies in allowing nurses to know right away that he had a Heart Defect. Apparently another NICU mother wrote this.

A New Baby to Love

All children need love, understanding and care,
someone they can count on to always be there.

But God knew some children would need more than others,
that's why He chose special mothers.

They have unique challenges right from the start,
so the Lord holds these families close to heart.

He gives them His strength and the patience to wait;
they learn that small steps bring rewards that are great.

And they come to know joys that they'd never dreamed of,
when their hearts ahve been touched by a special child's love.

Seven Hearts in Seven Days....Check it out!

Hey everyone! I just wanted to let everyone know what a good CHD Mom friend of mine is hosting 7 Hearts in 7 Days on her Blog. It's a series of blogs that spotlight CHD Moms and CHD Survivors during this week. This week is Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week. Most of you that read my blog are family and know about my son Peyton being born with a CHD but for those of you that dont frequent my blog alot or have just come across it, when my twins were 9 months old, we found out that we would be expecting another baby. Everything went fine up until I tripped over the dog and my doctor put me in the hospital for routine monitoring. This included an ultrasound because the babies heart rate was lower and he wanted to make sure that the placenta hadn't separated when I fell. That's when we found out about Peytons CHD and our life took a crazy turn that we had never expected. Keep checking out her blog this week for Peytons CHD Story which will be featured as well as to learn about CHDs. Did you know that "Nearly twice as many children die from congenital heart disease in the United States each year as die from all forms of childhood cancers combined." Apparently I got both ends of the deal there. However, I would not ever change it for the world. I wouldn't be as strong as I am now if I wouldn't have went through all of this. Anyways, I have to run but i wanted to tell everyone to check that out. I'll try and post another tonight, once I get back home!